It such an empty space.I don’t have sofa. I don’t have t.v. I don’t have cupboard. I don’t have anything.
There is nothing at all in the living room except a thick mattress and a Hush Puppy blanket spread on it.
I am staying home today, i just not feeling well. There is too much work at the office. I am feeling stressed out.
I am looking around me…what have i done to myself?
I am not going to get better with a home like this… omg! Im so sad!
Why am i not taking care of myself?
After office, i am coming home and from home to office everyday, at weekend i was and always too busy catching up the deadlines.
Why am i just don’t see what is missing at home….
I am stepping on a dusty red mat…torn and worn out. Omg! All these looking pale, without a soul.
I have been working hard but i am not happy with my job. I am not happy with politics in the office. I am not happy with my bosses. I am struggling very hard but none of my sweat can be seen by the homo-sapiens sitting at the administration desk. It is so disappointing!
Home…yes home! Im happy when i am home. At home i am free to do what i want, i am free to do what i like. I will and need to make my home as happy as it can be. No boundaries, no rules and regulations, no worries at all!
I love my home. No one can judge me in my own home. I can wear what i like, i can eat whatever i want and do as i pleased! Absolutely freedom!
I even reward myself for my little, tiny or not so big achievement. At least , i am feeling appreciated. I know i did well …a little celebration always bring encouragement in me.
Emmm… Home really need alot to do and buy. Let’s see …. do i have time for shopping? Shopping is sooo tiring! Omg!
Sofa…we need sofa. How embarrassed i felt when some of my friends came without warnings and have no place to let them sit, instead they sat on the floor helplessly….pity!
No t.v table…only t.v stood alone on a small rotten table, it was once belong to the tenant. He left it for a new home. I will keep it in mind , i need it!
Floor mat…yes! I really need to change it. It is so dusty and worn out. I can see the corpses of cockroaches around…eeeee didn’t notice it then.
Bathrooms and toilet… all need abit of renovations. It’s okay, i will fine someone to make it 5 stars restrooms. All i need is to remove the old cement bucket and put up a hot shower. It will be nice to have hot water anytime i like…whether it’s cold or hot day…who cares! I just love to have hot shower to be handy.
Windows need to be changed and clean. It looked so dusty. I can’t see my reflection!
Fan…It’s not moving! Need to buy one…the list is like not going to end!
I lying in my bed again.
I need to make time and have time to make this house into a home. I want to feel it’s embracing me with love and warmth when i come home. I don’t have anyone, i am the only one living in this home.
If i am ill like today, i wouldn’t be feeling sooo bad. If i have a proper bed. If i have a comfortable home. Home certainly helps me heal.
Again…i look around. All the changes will need money and the right person to help me to make it into a home.
It’s my home. So it is fine if i choose slowly what to do with my home. It’s all right. Even though the process is slow but it is progressing. Progressing is what matter.
O…i have an invitation next month, i will go to Australia to meet Mr ikan. Everything will be postponed for now.
I have an important meeting. The meeting of my life, i am so grateful to God by blessing me with Mr ikan. I can feel, on my left hand i have a home now and on my right hand i have Mr ikan to love.
I guess this is a blessing in disguise!
Dy zie💖🐳