What are we fighting for? Seems like we do it just for fun! In this, this stupid war, we play hard with our plastic gun. – Hailee Steinfeld –
We didn’t talk for a week now, right after he blurted ‘ I love all the girls!’ I stopped writing message as soon as he ended his words. I freezed my ink.
I wonder what is he trying to say and what dumb answer is he expecting from me? How could he say that? We are so far apart from each other, why is he not thinking that those words drift us further even more. My heart sank.
After the Europe tour we haven’t meet, it is almost three years now. All i could remember, we looked at each other eyes saying goodbye before parted way the last day. All the thread of communications are only through mobile.
Breathe deep, bottle it up. So deep until it’s all we got. Don’t speak, just use your touch, don’t speak before we say too much. – Hailee Steinfeld –
Every morning we used to send morning greeting and wish a happy day to each other, but not today, tomorrow and tomorrow. It is No! No! No!.
He sent his greetings as usual. I received and read it but i wouldn’t reply.
I just looked at the message. I looked at the profile picture on his whatsapps. The first time we messaging at each other the profile picture was a whale rising to the sky with a bird beside it. I selected the picture and he organised it. He always said the bird was me. Where ever is the fish, the bird is always with it.
The first time he took a picture of a bird was a swan, which was at a lake. He told, i am as fair as the swan. I was laughing at him, i thought it was funny.
I saw his profile pic is a white swan. I had seen he changed the picture of the whale with the bird when he went back to his home town. Now we are closer again he changed it to a beautiful swan. It touched my heart, i could feel he meant all the words he said. I started to feel guilty for not replying his messages or not talking to him.
Am i missing him, kan kan, kan saya suka makan ikan? The only talking fish, sing me lulluby when i was sick. The only fish, telling me jokes when i am was not in a beautiful day.
You hate me now and I feel the same way. You love me now and i feel the same way. Scream and we shout. And make up the same day, same day! – Hailee Steinfeld –
It was Saturday, he sent his morning greeting as usual. This time i replied. He blamed me for keeping silent.
That day we discussed our relation more seriously than before, i tried to draw boundary with him. We are to be strictly as friend to not hurt by each other words. He didn’t dare to answer many of the questions i forwarded.
As we come to no end, i sent him a message ” I am waiting for you to say me – I Love you!” If he send this magic word the days with no reply will be cut short gurantee.
Since that day, we are in a better communication and feeling to meet each other even more. Messages are more cheerful and meaningful as ever.
Still – I wonder WHY he couldn’t think before he speaks. What if i say ‘ I love all the boys!’ How would he react?
Dzie❤